I'm so sorry you're down in the dumps right now. It's easy for me to say he loves you despite his behavior, and it's easy for you to agree on an intillectual level.
But feelings don't follow so-called "logic".
I truly wish your H would put in some effort. I kinda suspect that he would put some effort if he wasn't so busy trying to force independence on you.
I'm not sure if this sounds right, but what I'm trying to say is that when I pursued my W, she saw it as dependence. She once told me that she feels I "need her" rather than "want her" I think she distanced in kind of a "tough love" sorta way so that I wouldn't be so dependent.
I get the impression that your H is doing the same thing.
I know it doesn't sound very DBish, but I think you should (without pressure) keep letting him know that you don't want major changes. Just a few little ones.
He's afraid that if he gives you an inch, you'll think you're a ruler.
