Balance

ANS,
You have nothing to feel guilty for. Please don't be so hard on yourself. ((((((((((ANS))))))))))

rayanne

[ANS]

I do have something to feel guilty about, Rayanne. I know it may sound to people out there like she's trying to lay a guilt trip on me, but it's not true.

W doesn't want me to feel guilt, and she most certainly doesn't want to see it. It'll turn into a vicious circle of guilt and pressure to change.

She probably would have continued to sit on her own feelings if I hadn't blown up the other day. She tried as nicely as she could (it's certainly not an easy thing to put in "nice" terms) to explain why she feels the way she does. She also indicated that she doesn't want to feel that way.

I suppose I could feel mad at her if she'd struck back at me, but she showed empathy.

This thread is getting pretty whiny. I'm really sorry for that.

Andy

I'm so sorry that you are feeling bad. ((((((((ANS))))))))

Feel free to whine. The rest of us do. Why should you be any different?

You've just got to quit being so hard on yourself, Honey. Please! You beat yourself up for being human.

[Duchess]

((((((((((Andy))))))))))))

You have always been there for us..I hope we can be here for you.

I am sorry you are feeling so much guilt. Listen to your W though when she says she sees the physical symptoms of your depression returning.

She knows you and I hope you go see your doctor and maybe consider a change in dosage of Wellbutrin or consider another med.

I am not sure what it is you feel guilty about and you are not sharing that part.

Feelings of guilt as I am sure you know are one of the cardinal signs of depression

Resentment and guilt ARE destructive emotions. totally agree.

Duchess

[ANS]

Thanks Duchess and Rayanne.

I guess part of being human is to feel down sometimes. Maybe I wouldn't let myself be human enough to feel guilt.

But, I'm spiralling down pretty fast, so I started the Wellbutrin again.

Yep. Guilt, sense of hopelessness, shaking hands, lack of sleep, and the beginnings of the worst sensation you can immagine in my stomach.

I don't want to do this again!!!!!

[RMC]

Oh dear Andy-when I said you did not seem like the Andy I knew, it was totally out of concern for you! You have been there for me SO many times-for ALL of us-and when I heard the hurt in your words I wanted to help. You are entitled to every single feeling that you have. One thrapist I know always said feelings are never right or wrong-their just feelings. You have talked about guilt, for whatever reason. If you screwed up somehow, feel it,and ask for forgiveness if you feel you need to-but, since none of us know what you feel guilty about, maybe its something that needed to be done or said. You are pretty tough on yourself-like you deserve less than what you need. We all deserve what we need when its involves being understood, heard and loved by our S. Most of us are not getting alot of those needs met-will they ever change?(our S) Probably-in some way,shape or form. It's the only sure thing in life-change. I hope your depression is better since you started back on the meds.It makes it all the rougher, and ususally when we're depressed we are needy. My H does not get depression so he does not know how to help. Are you having anxiety also? That's my demon. IT really bites too. I could ask for reassurance 24/7 from my H just to feel a little less anxiety but we all know we can't go there.
Dear Andy, I hope you are feeling better-you deserve so much more than all this. Let us know how you are-pleeeeease, we care! Love Rachel M

[ANS]

Thanks for your concern, Rachael. I'm doing better today.

Last night, BIL came to town. It was a nice relaxing evening.

Dunno what I "deserve" I guess what I deserve isn't really relevant.

What I get isn't necessarily what I deserve. What I get is what's available.

I guess I just have to be satisfied with that.

Andy

[RMC]

yep,that pretty much sums it up. Sucks though huh?

[ANS]

Dunno if it sucks. Maybe I just want too much.