Sorry, tbone, I really don’t want to discuss what I apologized for. Suffice it to say that I hurt her deeply. As to how I apologized, I made no excuses but only regret at how it affected her, me and OR.
We continued the discussion yesterday, and as Fille so astutely pointed out, she needs time. In fact that’s what she told me. But, quite frankly, I don’t know how much more time will heal something that started 20 years ago.
Sorry if I don’t sound like the “Andy you’ve known”, Rachael. W says she sees the physical symptoms of my depression returning, and she may be right. I’ve been trying to atone for things for about two years now, and perhaps the helplessness of it all is pushing me downwards.
Yesterday, W said that I must have considered filing. I told her that I will never file. I don’t believe in it. I won’t do it to our kids, and I won’t do it to her. If we have to live our lives together w/o emotional attachment, then that’s what I’ll do. If she finds that she can’t live with me, then that’s her decision. I’ve made mine.
