The fact that you two are complaining about your wives is actually an attempt to deflect HER deflection. It is a game of hot potato. No one wants to make the hard choice, so both you and your wives remain stuck, blaming the other for whatever pressure you each feel.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, something about this rings true for me as well
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
