Paul: and here I thought your relative scarcity from the SSM board was because your situation had improved. Sorry to hear that is not the case. And hey, give your wife some breathing room, sheesh.
Mojo: I was thinking yesterday how I have all the detriments of being married, with few of the benefits...and how, my marriage is somewhat similar to being divorced, but without the benefits of that legal relationship.
Some of the marriage detriments: 1. monogamy, in that it precludes one from farking other people. The corresponding benefit, which I don't have, is the benefit of being with the one you love, physically and emotionally. 2. financial responsibility with little to show for it. 3. cooking and cleaning for your partner, but rarely getting to enjoy meals cooked by and/or cleaned up by your partner. 4. Being responsible for the parenting while your partner trains for her Breast Cancer Walk, which means that you'll be with the kids not only while she's at work, but after she gets home, when she changes into her walking shoes and goes out to walk for the next 1-3 hours. And not enjoying the corresponding ability to get away from the house for any reason other than doing errands, taking DD5 to lessons, etc. 5. Being responsible for all the yardwork, but not having time to actually enjoy it.
And, it's like being divorced in that I don't feel a kinship to my W, can't talk to her about much of anything because it sets her off, feel like every purchase I make is going to be scrutinized by an attorney (which it is), am constantly reminded of how certain property is hers and not mine, and get criticized for my parenting. And, of course, I don't get the one benefit of divorce - the ability to have other relationships...or, let's get real, the ability to fark anyone who'll have you. And let's not forget the other cool benefit of being divorced: the ability to tell your ex that most everything they used to control about you is no longer in their bailiwick.
Having been through one divorce, I can tell you that my "divorce fantasy" isn't attractive at all. Oh sure, I wouldn't have to put up with the incessant negativity, but I'd lose the daily contact with my DD5, my comfortable house, a lot of the $$, and I really don't want to put my older kids through another D.
And the part of the divorce fantasy that involves finding the nymphomaniac who owns a chain of liquor stores, well, even that is losing its appeal.
