Hairy, One time my Six husband and I were having a talk and we were discussing this very thing in him..how he will say what he thinks I want to hear and that I should be happy that he at least tries to please me. I told him that it wasn't necessarily for me, though--it was to protect himself from having to do something that he finds inherently uncomfortable: being direct. The fact that he thought I liked it was an added bonus, really.
I won't say that I don't like it cause sometimes it feels good to have a person go along with you, kwim. It is the Final Answer of "Well I didn't really mean that I would go to your second cousin's third wedding; I was just saying that it sounded like a nice time for YOU" that I find infuriating. He is a Time Buyer...if a situation arises that he feels uncomfortable dealing with, he gives me an answer designed to buy him some time and we both know it. It is frustrating.
Anyway, I say all this just to point out that if you can get real with yourself and know that you are not doing her any favors with the people pleasing stuff, but rather doing what makes YOU feel most comfy, then I think it may be easier to change. When we deceive ourselves--and convince ourselves that the other person likes it--inertia becomes all the much more attractive.
Honeypot, a C answerer to the "world" and recovering B answerer to my H.
