'beer me, wench'. almost every friday I walk into the club, go behind the bar, raise my hands over my head, and holler, BAR WENCHES. Lets makes some driiinnnnks and soME MONEY. ..Oh they hate it. LOL. invariably, they throw whatever is handy at me. I saw a lot of ways to include HD W when I read that story.... I was trying to convey a concept, a general idea. HD may prefer ice Tea (the drink) for all I know.
The important thing for HD is that he 1) learn to be able to look inside and and identify his feelings, and then 2)verbalize them without self deprecating, personalizing, or trying to protect her from his selfishness, irritation, needs, blah blah, and without worrying about her reaction. How he does it exactly is going to be a manifestation of himself, that we allready know she thinks is attractive, just like he did in the beginning of the R. Takes us back to WWNRHDD.
HD you said, I was the good little kid who watched all my siblings make the mistakes while I did all the things that made my dad happy. your used to identifing and then proactively doing what makes others happy. This was your way to get validated, positive attention from your dad, parents. Its a ingrained, personality and associative behavior for you. Its not and wont ever work with your W though. Crap. that sucks. Doing this with your wife, without getting/receiving appreciation from her though, puts you in what appears to her, supplicating, placating type behavior. I bet its not the tack you took when you were assesing her, when you were dating.
another thing. your inner voice. look at these two remarks by you. An invitation to be slaughtered? Oh, joy! what a b!tch this wimp married, eh?
Your humor is this huge strength you have. It takes just a little tweak to it, so that its not P/A in reference to your W (soemtimes is ok), and self deprecating (unless its about your looks, cause your a damn good looking guy ).
I dont think your wife is a b!tch, and I definitely dont think your a wimp. If you were, you never would have attracted your wife in the first place. I think you need to work on being ok with asserting your needs and having higher expectations, and seeing your wife thru different eyes.
I have a question for you. Can you identify, how you felt about your W, when you were dating, and the way you felt, the way you decided you were going to treat her, after you decided to marry her?
To me, she looks like a woman, who is really strongly affected by strength and power, and struggles against the effect it has on her. somewhere along the way, this attraction caused her some emotional pain.
almost every friday I walk into the club, go behind the bar, raise my hands over my head, and holler, BAR WENCHES. Lets makes some driiinnnnks and soME MONEY. ..Oh they hate it. LOL. invariably, they throw whatever is handy at me.
). 