When anyone ever mentions to you about turning things around or standing up to her you seem to have an excuse as to why you can't. Or will say you don't think that will work. To me like blackfoot said....it is fear. You are or have become scared of your wife. But now try to think of it from a females point of view and see this scared man standing before you and you are the bully time and time again. You put out your demand or nasty comment and he does nicely what is told of him. How much respect do you think she could have for you. But then now throw the ED and the PE and she is yet losing more respect. I honestly feel the sexual problems you have had is not you. Well, it is mental but not physical at all. Interestingly enough my husband also had these same exact problems. Now the man today doesn't have those problems anymore. He feels better about himself as a man. He feels better about me now that I have let him be the man he needs to be. I guess that kind of sounded wrong like I let him like he is a kid. I just mean I backed off. I came the realization that the things he finally said to me had really valid points. You know what on the sexual front to me he also gave me brutal honesty that he just didn;t feel that way towards me anymore. Another eye opener for me. And maybe one your wife needs to hear.

I agree stop coddling her. That was a perfect opportunity to tell her that night exactly how you feel and that is that you don't feel sexual towards her anymore. Let her finally know what your true feelings are. Otherwise you also will just keep going in this vicious cycle.

Then think about this in this current state you are living in have you lost respect for yourself? Then think about how much respect do you think she has for you when you don't even respect yourself? Take back what you need HD! It is time and she needs to hear what you feel!