I was thinking about asking her this: "You say you want me to initiate in a confident way. I'm having trouble understanding what you mean. What, specifically, would a 'confident initiation' look like to you?"
Better yet, HD, ask her to *show* you. Let her squirm with that. Don't help her. If she can't show you, ask her how the heck she can expect you to come up with something to suit her when even she herself can't? And if she does come up with something, well my friend, that would be a win-win for you!!
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."