"I think it's time for Lucy to kick the ball while Charley Brown holds it."
D@mnit woman, I admire the heck out of how your mind works.
Hairdog,
GGB is getting me started. I know you talk about lack of confidence, fear of rejection, and believe me I am the poster child. Well, maybe we are both the poster children. Wouldn't that make a cool poster. The two of us kneeling next to each other with ultra-placating expressions on our faces and the caption reads "please have sex with me?" LOL
I'll make a pact with you HD if you want. If you'll jump I'll jump. Let's do the alpha male thing for once with our W's and screw the consequences. If we get rejected, fcuk em. Just grab the latest copy of Maxim magazine, go in the bathroom and make all kinds of moaning noises. Wake the kids up if necessary. Come out of the bathroom buck naked and still hard and say "honey, I made a mess, can you clean it up for me?" Then sit on the couch and rent a PPV on the playboy channel whilst posing our best sh!t eating grin. HARRR!!!!!
But first we need a little preparation. Go to iTunes and download Eminem "Shake that A$$" and listen to it 3 or 4 times as loud as you can stand it. Get your mind in the mood for some dirty sex. You know what I mean, the two fingered insertion, licking the nipple, butt cheeks smacking hard against the thighs, semen flying, only god knows where we stuck it kinda sex. Anything less in our minds and the hesitation will shine through. It doesn't matter if we've never actually had that kind of sex ( ), we've both imagined it before. There will be deflections and excuses, but none of them matter. Its time for the throw down, pin down, double suplex take down. She wants it ... BAD!!!! GRRRRR!!!!!!!! Are you game? I can't HEEEAAARRR you? ARE YOU GAME?!?!?!
WOOOOO!!!! Sheriff Chromo giving the SSM an X-rating today. YEE HAW!!!!
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I tried with all my might to not respond to that post Chrome but my hands are overpowering me, taking control of the keyboard. WOWZA! "semen flying" You are a dirty dirty boy. Or are you really just hitting the martinis a little too hard today???
I thoroughly enjoyed that dirty little ditty. It caused me to giggle and then to say hmmmmmmmmmm......... I'm beginning to fear for H's sexual sensibilities.
Ohhh, good Chrome. Now you've gone and got all the HD ladies in a stir. Heck, my loins hurt just thinking about it . I hope tomorrow isn't going to be a chorus of "I didn't get boinked last night" here
GGB It's a sad day when I have to get my sexual thrills off the DB website And you should be in seventh heaven after all the action you got last night. Sheesh. Lucky you.
I think that maybe MrsNOP has the right idea. Your wife CLEARLY has problems with being sexually responsive so maybe it would be better if she practiced at being sexually assertive first. I mean we all know it would fit her personality type better . Besides it is actually easier in some ways to be assertive rather than responsive (as long as you have a reasonably responsive partner ) because you can do all the prep work to get yourself in the mood and/or aroused yourself.
I do agree with what some of the others have said about the fact that you seem particularly dispirited lately. Maybe you need to do what I did and have a few too many and call MsHD the equivalent of a "fastidious pr*ck" (LOL) (JK please do not do- I would not want to be responsible for the consequences.)
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
it is only in my dealings with her that my confidence is gone. It's not just in the sexual arena. From deciding whether we should keep or cancel the newspaper ($6 a month) to how to clean the floor....
youve reached a point of not really caring about the sex. Why dont you apply this to these other areas?
If she says something about the way you clean the floor, reply, 'You can say thank you, and show some appreciation, or you can pipe down.' This will probably piss her off. I have no doubt, she will make some attempt to get you tied up with her tar baby. Ignore it. Try this, and then see what her actions are later in the evening, or the next day.
you know, if you want to have sex with me, you are going to have to initiate." I don't recall the exact words, but that was because I had been asleep. I didn't respond. Ok choice. it was pretty disrespectful to wake you up like that.
she again mentioned that I was the one who needed to initiate, and that I should approach her "with confidence."
she is trying to stay on the offense by the way she words her sentences, but the reality is, she is coming to you about it. 3 times. she is concerned on some level. It feels to you like, she finds out that you do have desire for her, then....thats enough for her. Feels like a rubber worm bait. looks yummy, but taste bad,....and that pesky hook hurts. The ball was in your court, keep it there. Take what she says and return it to her. 'Why do I have to initiate? If you dont enjoy sex enough to initiate it, I understand. Its not really that enjoyable for me anymore either.' 'Maybe if you said something nice once in a while, or appreciated some of the things I do, I would think you cared enough for me to want to have sex with you.' 'well when you are ready to communicate about this, and show some consideration, and compromise, act like a woman, instead of a general ordering the troops around, then maybe we will have sex again. Untill then... <shrug>.'
The way she is wording it now, is that sex is still some sort of reward or prize for you. Its not. Since she doenst have the sense or respect to fill your need. Take it away from her. And stop needing it from her. She doesnt deserve it. If you were single, you would survive. See if she is capable of filling any of your other needs. Let your emotions at this lack of being cared be verbalized. when I used to say something calmly to x, like 'Im really pissed at you right now.' her reaction was much different ( uh oh I better get this taken care of) then the times I lost control over my toungue and vented on her in a hack and slash fashion. ( door slamming, mirror smashing, knife throwing whirl wind of destruction. followed by the crazy glint of Im going to take you apart in her eyes.)
I am angry at myself You have a right to your feeling of anger. Aiming it at yourself, is not healthy.... your allowed to let her feel and see a little of it, in a controlled manner. It wont make you a bad person. Vent man. get some of this off your chest. Use you anger energy to move you to some action. What would happen if the next time she pulled some jello like manuever, you were to say, flat calm, 'You know, Im really sick of your crap.' and then just let it sit.
Women want to 'feel' something. Good, bad, doesnt really matter to them. its the lack of feelings that drives them bonkers. Im like you, I dont want to feel bad anything really, and in general, just want to be in a relaxed static emotional state. Thats fine. Put yourself their, and stay there, even when she gets up or down. It will really change her perspective of you.
You are a great guy HD. she just has no respect or appreciation for it. her constant testing is wrecking her R with you. Tell her, and then tell her to knock it off.
When x started her A, I developed PE too. It was really really demoralizing to me. Internally I was like... shock and chagrin, and... what the hell is going on here? Plus the mirrored look on her face was the icing on the cake. finally I said fcuk this. It felt like she had me by the balls. I had to take them back. It was a painful process.
Ah well. Frustration with myself shining through in that last post. I really do want to be the MAN. I can feel him inside struggling to get out. I've just been a boy for so long.
I do mean it though HD. We could be like workout buddies, its a lot easier to do something when someone else is egging you on. There are others here rooting for me, but they are all so far ahead of me in the fear/hesitation stuff. I feel like I'm trying to hang with Arnold in the gym sometimes. Not that I don't appreciate the cheerleading, don't get me wrong. It has been VERY helpful. But maybe a different tack can be added to the overall game plan.
It wasn't my intention to stir up trouble here. I just get carried away with it all sometimes. Of course now I am really embarrassed that you all know my never to be realized fantasy.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
), we've both imagined it before. There will be deflections and excuses, but none of them matter. Its time for the throw down, pin down, double suplex take down. She wants it ... BAD!!!! GRRRRR!!!!!!!! Are you game? I can't HEEEAAARRR you? ARE YOU GAME?!?!?!
