Quote: Imagine my surprise, then, when she woke me up upon her entry to the bedroom with a comment like, "you know, if you want to have sex with me, you are going to have to initiate." I don't recall the exact words, but that was because I had been asleep. (I've decided that going to bed by 10pm is more important to me than keeping her company while she watches television until 11.) I didn't respond.
The next day (last Sunday) she again mentioned that I was the one who needed to initiate, and that I should approach her "with confidence." Instead, I kept myself busy all day in the yard, cooked dinner for us, and then went to bed early.
Monday morning she said she wanted to talk, asked me why I was not approaching her physically, and I told her, well, basically number one, above, that I had the distinct impression that she did not want to have sex, and so, why would I have sex with her? I recounted the conversation we had in March, after the episode of "Coupling" where she focused on my PE problems, and the encounter during our vacation where I tried to help her "O" manually, and she told me that she could do that herself, that she didn't need me for that, and that she was basically only having sex for me.
She denied the essences of those conversations, said I was totally mistaken, that she enjoyed sex, that she was turned-on by me, that (Hairdog's eyes and ears glazed over here, as often happens when confronted with a make-believe world that has absolutely no connection with reality).
Did you ask what her interpretation or essences of those conversations were? I think that would be a good thing to know, "Just what were you trying to tell me?"
You know, it might be a time to consider brute honesty.
"Honey, I have found that I am losing sexual interest in our marriage. I have also lost interest in feeling that I have to jump through an ever-moving relational hoop that has unpredictable, ever-diminishing returns. I guess I'm at the point, that if you're interested in having a sex life with me, you'll have to make the first physical move. You don't have to respond right now, but let me know how you would like to proceed."
It would appear to me that she's beginning to pick up on the "Hair Dog has left the building" aspect of your recent attitude.
I think it's time for Lucy to kick the ball while Charley Brown holds it.
