In working with our therapist, we do alot of mirroring. It's the most non-natural thing to do- leave your country, and totally go over to your spouses country-see things as they see them-not that you can but when you are out of your country and in theirs, you do not think of you and what you are going to say nest-you are totally focusing on what they are telling you and by mirroring validating that they are being heard. It's a gift you give each other. It takes thought and practice to doit outside of counceling, but it is basically a listening skill-its works. You do feel validated and heard but only when they are guinually in YOUR country. Make sense?
