Michele has said, and everyone agrees, that one of the biggest myths of relationships is the concept of “soulmate.” It is also widely agreed that people change over time.
I’m not sure I agree with either.
My view is that everyone has an unchanging core which defines who they really are. I don’t think we fall in love with the outer (changing) person. Somewhere, at a deeper level, we see the underlying “real” person.
Their soul.
This is the person we fall in love with, and conversely, the person who our spouse falls in love with. To that extent, we are soulmates, and always will be.
But the trials and tribulations of our lives can blur our vision. We go into survival mode (BTW, my W has used those exact words). We can lose touch with the other person’s soul.
When you no longer love your spouse, it’s because you’ve lost sight of that which you fell in love with. Their soul. When you continue to love them but aren’t “in love” with them, you’ve lost contact with your own soul.
You’ve been reading in the MLC section lately. I’ve done some reading there too. Lotsa good stuff there, but I don’t believe it’s good because MLC is anything special. It just seems to be a place where people meet whose spouses have lost sight of their souls.
quote:Originally posted by Australian November 24, 2001 12:46 PM onLonely and devastated (Newcomers): Wether it is MLC or wether the planets are lined up in conjunctionn with each other has no bearing what so ever on what needs to be done..MLC is just another fairly useless label which allows us to point the finger at the other,that there's "something wrong with them".Big Mac look for solutions not excuse's to fix her,(fixing can only be done by her if she should choose to do so and if indeed there is anything wrong with her to fix)focus on you.
The focus of my DBing has always been on myself. Not to change myself, but to expose my soul to W. Doesn’t matter if she lost sight of my soul, her soul or both. All that matters is that I continue to love her, and that she sees the real me.
I haven’t changed. My actions have.
Maybe that's what you meant when you posted that you knew that Sage and you were linked.
