Hi Thone,
Thank-you also for your reply. I didnt see it earlier. Since H has returned home I have been helping him with relating to the children. He has made some small gains, but he is not consistent and tends to go back into that selfish frame of mind when allowed. I really like that statement your wife made to bring you back on line.

And Lily I tried your suggestion. In one day what a turn around something so simple. I told the kids that I am doing something new with D they know his past and they know he is a work in progress but that it is my job and they shouldnt jump on the bandwagon with me. D sometimes thinks she is in charge here. You gotta love her, she is amazing. They have mutured quickly really before their time over all of this.

Anyway Lily I just told them they have to do one thing nice for D everyday. It cant be obvious. So when H walked in the door son greeted him with a high D. That was his contribution. Daughter asked him if she could make him a cup of coffee. At bedtime son yelled out night d. That is all they did. H came home last night daughter met him at his truck, made us both a cup of coffee because we went out to pick up a boat part. On the drive out H told me to call and check on the kids make sure they all right. He never says that.
And he was talking about bringing them close to the airport to watch the big jets come in. He talked all the way home about that which road he could go on because they have closed off most due to security. So thanks Lily. You are amazing.

Thone,I can do the kiss thing with him. Next time I see selfishness I will give him a long hard kiss to remind him and I will tell him if I notice selfishness this will be a reminder that it is ok to need time for yourself but we are creating memories here and enough is enough. I know my lips are going to get pretty sore before we solve this one.

Lily I have also posted in sexual issues on sit. can you also help me out in the bedroom. Any more great ideas.
Thanks in advance. I will let you know.
Have a great weekend.
Take care Loretta [Wink]