He sounds like he is incapable of making himself happy and is angry at you for failing to do so.
This makes for a very, very, very difficult relationship.
Take care of YOU first. Meet his expressed needs but don't go overboard. See if he can "catch" happiness from you.
Possibly, he is clinically depressed. He might need a medical evaluation. Also if he is out of shape or eating garbage he can never feel good.
Would he agree to counseling? For himself primarily, but you can go too if you think it would help.
If you try all these things, and he continues to be a miserable person, geez, you might have to consider living on your own for a time to send a message that you cannot live with him unless he is willing to change. His chronic misery will sap all the life out of your marriage.
Dont' live in fear of his bombs. YOU are the one who should be picking and choosing, it seems to me!
