We are about to come up on our 3rd anniversary of putting our marriage back together. While we are doing very well (yahoo!), the last two of these anniversaries (the day I found out about the affair which also happened to be my birthday) have been awful. I am hoping this year will be better.
Here's our link, (I hope I'm doing this right) web page
Maybe I could think about it as birth being a traumatic event and so our marriage was born in earnest on my birthday. That's positive. It is amazing how I can find all kinds of ways to look at things to help me handle them better then to this day something will come out of the blue and give me a jolt. It used to knock me flat and steamroll all over me so great progress has been made!
We've just gotten back from our first lengthy time alone since we started "peacing" and it was wonderful! (Wrote a lot about it and lost it in cyberspace somehow, but there’s a little in the staying solution focused section).
The plan for birthday redemption this year is that my H will take several days off and we will spend them going through all our stuff to prepare to move. There is nothing I would rather do! (Haven't found the house yet but hope to soon.) The last time I went through our stuff I found a very unpleasant souvenir from the affair (the day before HIS birthday!) which I told him about many months later (yukky stuff but finally telling him about it was helpful and went well).
The other major date we have to redeem is our wedding aniversary, also the date he signed for their rondevous room which they kept for several years (another accidental discovery). I can tell I’m getting way better because even 6 months ago it would have shaken me to write that. Now it’s matter of fact—and this with no meds. We’ve done a little better about redeeming this day over the three tries we’ve had. I went all out with arrangements the first year.
My H does well with planning other things (he is meticulous if it has to do with his work) but I guess this is just too charged for him to handle. I can understand how it would be.
So with the success of our 10 days of productive and happy time together and all I've learned, we go to the next phase. I might need to touch base here over the next week or two and will see if I can be helpful to others in that time as well.
