Here goes. I had made my changes and she was giving me the impression that things were going better. I snooped and found out that she was still "pursueing" men she had met on match.com. She said it was just a "social" thing for her and it didn't mean anything but I didn't like it at all no matter how she phrased it. I simply told her that I had made my changes and I thought we were doing very well but her "friends" were not going to help us in any way to have a quality M. I also asked her if it is no big deal why does she lie about it. I told her that contact with them is not acceptable to me and how would she feel if the roles were reversed. I also told her that I can't control her but any "contact" with them from our home was forbidden for the sake of the children. She was spending hours online and ignoring our boys.
I didn't get tough until I thought she was mostly back and just needed a "push". She was in major MLC so DBing didn't really seem to work much with her. She was thinking of only herself and wasn't seeing anything she was doing as wrong. It was ugly and don't think it is over yet. I just have a "funny" feeling but I don't snoop to find out. I will handle it even tougher next time though. She is pretty much out of "get of jail free cards" with me. I keep working on myself and I really don't think she is doing the same so it will be interesting. I have already told her that I can't deal with another tax season like she put me through last year. She promised it wouldn't be. We'll see.
You really have to pick your moments with a MLC and don't try anything tough unless you can handle the backfire.
