Thanks for the kudos Joe but all I did was follow my gut feeling and buffer out the pure reactionary feelings. It worked for me. I think there are three stages that have to be worked through. First, you have to let them go to see what direction they are heading. Second, you have to make yourself more appealing for them to come back to. Third, if they are acting unacceptably and not making any progress back the "new" you then you have to get firm with them. I will not be a doormat and would rather end the M than wait around while she decided whether I was good enough or not. That is pretty cavalier but it got me this far. As soon as I felt pretty solid improvement I would push a little harder and repeat as necessary. There would always be a slight retreat followed by more progress. I call it bumping up against the line without crossing it. Oh, it is definitely a dance. Once I felt she was really getting close my confidence soared. I started to feel like I didn't "need" her if she was going to do this to me. That was a huge revelation, especially when a friend of my W told me that several of her friends would love to go out with me if I was back on the "market". My W had me so beat down that I felt worthless but not any more though.
I reconsidered and am hoping to not start another thread. I will ride this one until it is closed and then I am done. Maybe I can just peek in and help others win the war against the big D. Have a great weekend everybody!
