Thanks guys but I can't survive without somewhat resigning to the facts as they are (Perpetual lies, EA's, no respect, manipulation). By her actions she is showing me what is important to her. This "giving up" is a 180 from everything I believe in but I am losing myself by investing so hard in our R. I may gain some hope back soon but all I can do in the mean time is start living for me. Maintaining my hope only makes me depressed when the next mini-bomb hits.
Her business is getting stronger but she has dug such a deep hole that it causes us a lot of stress. If it was just finances or our R I could be stronger but it is both of them and they kind of multiply the problems. She has agreed to let me do all of the books to keep a better tab on things. I hope this isn't a problem later but I can't let her manage it the way she has been. She doesn't like when I act like her "father" but she has so often acted like a child (especially with finances) that there wasn't a lot different that I could have done. I feel kind of ill and numb right now. I keep getting these mini-bombs dropped on me all the time.
I am just wining and feeling sorry for myself like I always do when she disappoints me AGAIN. You all know the pain and my skin is getting thicker so it doesn't hurt quite as badly as it used to. Thanks for your support. Ofcourse you are both right and hope will spring eternal but she has kicked me in the guts several times in the last week. This always happens when I start standing a little too tall and exposing my sensitive underbelly. This isn't the end of the world it just feels like it sometimes. I will have a couple of margaritas for all of those on this BB that have saved me from becoming too pathetic. I toast you all and wish that your S discover how blessed they are to have you in their lives.
