Thanks for the input Kaw. I like the part about distancing versus ignoring. I have come to the realization that our M will probably end but I don't know when. That isn't said in sadness, it is said in fact. The plan is to enjoy our R and my life as much as possible until they are both over. I love her and am committed to her but I can't help her with her problems and she isn't helping herself. We have great times together but that isn't going to be enough for both of us in the long run. She knows I will forever be loyal but her need for "more" (money, toys, love) will probably not allow her to do the same. People can not change who they are in their core. She has some pretty deep issues with her internal happiness that I never knew about. I can not deal with the deception caused by her unhappiness. I am okay with all of this now.
My ideal in M simply isn't here. We enjoy each others company but her love for me isn't there right now. If I don't allow her flaws to bother me I really feel pretty darn good. Life is too short not to enjoy everyday and I am not enjoying everyday per yesterdays posts. I lost the perspective that our R is more like dating right now than a M. The breakup will be far messier but dating is a far more accurate depiction of what we have. My tendency is towards perfection and that always makes me miserable. It can never be acheived yet I keep trying.
We leave Friday for our 9 day vacation with her entire family. It is always a good time. Our time with the boys has been really limited with all the work around the house but we will catch that up next week. W and I are hoping to do a lot of things together like lounge around, sleep, have tropical drinks, wakeboard, barefoot (Yes, I am a CPA that can dance, drives a big truck, can operate all power tools, and barefoot), golf, and lounge around some more. Even the forecast looks promising.
As you can tell my attitude is back where it needs to be so I will probably back off of the BB again to help maintain that. I obsess too much on my sitch when I read about others. Happy DBing to all.
