Yeah, tbone. It ain’t fair. I’ll never tell you that what she’s doing is right. It isn’t!
You’re also right about her being in control. The golden rule of a R is that whoever wants the least out of a R is in control.
It sucks! No doubt about it.
But the way I see it, there’s nothing you can do about the inequity. The only thing you can do is to leave the R behind, or accept the unfairness of it all.
My vote is for acceptance. Throw away the scorecard. Be the best person you can be. Set an example.
Will that make her behavior stop or get worse? I don’t think it’ll get any worse. She’s so desperate for freedom that she’s seizing it with both hands and to heck with the consequences. In a sense, it’s something that she has to “get out of her system.”
So. These guys she’s dating… Are they good people? Do they ooze with integrity? Will they stick with her through thick and thin?
If not, who will she be better off in the long run?
I know the answers to these questions. Some day, your W will see it too.
quote:Originally posted by tbone: Andy, Thanks for all of your quick responses to my crisis. I need to follow your advice about behavior dictating feelings. I keep doing that backwards.
Start by feeling good about yourself, tbone. You're a really great guy. You ooze with integrity.
