tbone, I think it is much easier to try to work on a relationship from within. I asked H to leave under similar circumstances and we are still separated 3 and 1/2 years later. I think we could have worked it out if he had stayed.
That being said, he didn't quit when found out and it is really hard to get somebody to work on the marriage when they're feeling that the grass might be greener elsewhere. Whenever there's even a hint of somebody else, the battle becomes an uphill one.
I do think that a lot of this stuff is symptomatic, though. Since things seem to be getting better between you, maybe you should just leave things as they are for a while. She might abandon this other stuff when she feels better about your R.
It is very hard to live with. Think I know! Sorry!
