Andy - Thanks for the wise words. I need to tell myself more often that this is a process. I also won't be telling my W about these feelings ever. She knows I think her behavior was completely unacceptable. She only started coming back to me when I took a stand. I fully believe she saw my confrontations as a sign that I was willing to fight for her. My SIL told me that if her H would have stood up to her antics instead of rolling over they wouldn't be D. My W other sister told me that she also challenged her H resolve in their R when she was convinced that the M would not last. These are strong, independent women who seem to want the same qualities in their men. Luckily, only one of us wasn't up to the task. This knowledge was part of what motivated me to stand my ground with my W and not follow normal DB procedure. Also, I don't think my W was nearly as "gone" as she was saying.
Zebra - If you are out there I want to thank you so much for helping me to stop my addiction to snooping. You were so right about how good it feels to not do it. It makes the anxiety drop off dramatically. It also makes it easier to accentuate the positives. I was so gald to hear the new C is working out so well. Can't wait to here about the imminent progress.
I am definitely staying off of the "Infidelity" board from now on. My anxiety gets the best of me when I go there. In fact I am trying to back off completely but I keep picking up such valuable tidbits everyday that are helping me to succeed not just with my W but with my kids, clients, and employees. What is so funny is to see how much better my employees react to me since this all started and I realized the problem wasn't everybody else it was me. Ooh, that one hurt. My hope is that more age brings me a lot more wisdom. God was watching over me when he threw this challenge in my lap.
