First I must say you are finding out that thing that's so often overlooked on the Beginner's Boards.... that you know you're R better than we do. It seems you've found the "line" and have, as you say, "bumped" it. That's good.
That said, be careful not to bump it too often, or even to cross it. You will from time to time, but with care, you will use that to understand where her "unstated" boundaries are. It's a balancing act. Personal boundaries are important, and each respecting the others is important. I noticed that in close friendships, there are lots of boundarie issues, and they pretty much remain unstated because of the respect between friends, and respect for their personal space and the right they have to make their own decisions. Marriage often causes those "lines" of respect to become blurred by the "one flesh" thing. Possessiveness, ownership and control often cause one spouse to believe they have a right to cross the boundaries. This can cause the other spouse to retreat, and then begins the distance/pursuit dance.
I find it best to state my boundaries and then let it go. It then becomes the spouses choice to respect my boundaries, needs and wishes. Hopefully, in a healthy situations, that respect is present and strong. If that respect is gone, there's little you can to do get it back other than to respect their right to be their own person and give them space. It is possible that they may have to face the responsibilities of their acts, you may enforce those boundaries if you choose, and if it become unbearable to you to have them violated. Then you must realize you will be responsible for the consequences of that enforcement. On goes the dance...
All in all, it sounds great t. Keep up the good work, and the good PMA.
