What I could use the most is a confidence pill. Our R is going very well especially by DB standards. I make her laugh, pamper her, and she reciprocates. This happens because she let's it happen and I know how lucky I am for her to do that. I need to realize that she found out that the grass is pretty darn green on our side of the fence. Her feelings of pain in the past will fade and I can help to replace them with positive ones. She knows I have learned how to be a better H and F. I hear myself talking to our S's sometimes and I think to myself "that doesn't even sound like me". I actually sound calm and gentle. I am really trying to focus on doing things for my own good instead of for the sake of the R. The focus has been on W and the R when it should have been on me. Wow, do I learn slowly. I honestly feel like the WAW ordeal stripped me of mental capacity. Anyone else feeling that. Thanks for joining the thread Rayanne. You are right, the R is making big progress and I need to be appreciative. 10 weeks until our 10th anniversary and I plan on making it a memorable one. I see it like a commencement of sorts. Ending the first decade (bad R) and starting the second decade (great R). Don't tell my W but I live for our R and to make her happy. When she is in a good mood and we are spending time together it doesn't get any better. It is almost euphoric. What a sap I am.
