Wow.... sorry to hear about your friends.

you mentioned you are having a tough time dealing with 'why can't I just say it...' She want you to show it. She wants proof. She wants more than lipservice. Guys want everything laid out and organized and measurable. Women want you to figure it out, and walk the walk, not just talk the talk. The want to see solid evidence, not have it reasoned, promised and explained.

At least that's what our female C tells me.