The not telling how you feel is another tough thing, and a tough call. There are a couple of ways to handle it... If you wonder how it's working, a gentle ILY -- kind of throw-away, no intensity, not looking for a response -- can show you. If she runs screaming, you know it's too soon, if she smiles and hugs, well, you're on track. It falls under the "try something different" header, and if you've been behaving one way for a few weeks, it's probably ok to try something else.
Another approach is to turn it back on you, rather than risk pressuring her. jj calls it "catching them getting it right". When she does something that makes you feel good about the R, especially something really small and insignificant, tell her you feel good about it. If that makes her feel good, she'll do more. If not, she'll stop it. (I've had that happen)
Keep your eyes open for baby steps, and acknowledge them -- again, in a gentle, non-commital, throwaway manner. Act as if thats just the way it is, and you just acknowledged it. While you're looking and noticing baby steps, also notice them in YOU! Be sure to compliment yourself when you make them. Like not snooping when you feel the urge. Like saying "Oh you're going out? Hey, have fun, see you later!" Like not taking anything she does too seriously, good or bad, just letting it be.
