quote:Originally posted by tbone : My goal for today is to not let her know my insecurity level is rising again. She hates that. Another question for you wise ones. When I spend a lot of time with my W I feel very good then and for a couple of days after and then I freak. Do any on you go through this? She makes me feel like she couldn't be happier with me and then when we're apart I feel like I am competing for my position.
This tells me that it’s not OR talk time. Yet.
However, I think there’ll come a time when you will want to dive into it. I’ve made several forrays into OR talks.
Sometimes they were info gathering things. Where do we really stand? In some of those cases, I was in for a shock. We were nowhere! But in retrospect, we had really come a long way. It just didn’t seem like it because the OR talk brought out W’s negativity. In the long run, however, they worked. I used them to find new things to change about myself. Or more accurately, to change about the way I presented myself to W.
Once things started getting better, the OR talks shifted ever so slightly from info gathering to info presenting. I started to let her know some of my wants/needs.
The key is to keep it all short. You have a need/want for security. Going on a two hour rant would not endear yourself to her.
So. For now, act secure. Act secure long enough, and you’ll feel secure. Feel secure long enough, and you’ll be secure.
It’s OK to have bad dreams. It’s OK to freak out. It’s all normal. Just keep it to yourself for now.
You spend a lot of time with your W. Keep it up, and keep it positive.
