I get scared sometimes that we won't find our way back to each other, and other times I feel like we already have.
He confuses me. Tells me so many different things. I try to remember how confused he must feel.
I have to remember to just go by his actions and not necessarily his words.
I've also noticed lately that H doesn't respond to the kids when they say ILY lately either. They always say ILY when saying good night, or when leaving for an outting. I've noticed that H rarely responds to them with ILY, too.
Maybe he feels he doesn't deserve their love, either.
Interestingly, I've been so intuned with "getting back our love" lately, that I haven't thought about the A or OW except that last week was the 1 yr anniversay of their demise. H did mention last week that he had thought about it/her the week before that. The reason was that he had received a flyer concerning the same convention they attended last year. He said unfortantely it did bring back thoughts of last year, but the feelings associated with those thoughts were of total disgust for himself and for the OW. I believe him. He volunteered that information.
I am at peace with everything right now. I will just continue to work on me, try to nurture my own loving feelings towards my H. What more can I do?
