My marriage and life are a disaster of my own making and I am unsure how or if I can undo what i have done. I have been married almost 10 years - no childred in this marriage but i have a son from a previous marriage. My H was/is a good man with extremely poor communication skills and virtually NO sex drive (he is 38!) We had been having problems for a year or more. I tried to get him to communicate with me for so long....we had sex maybe one time in a year! In January of this year I asked him to leave. I was so emotionally exhausted trying to figure out what was going on between us and why he didnt want to discuss our problems. He moved out. In march i had an affair with a man who had also just ended a 7 year relationship. we were both needy and lonely. my H found out about the affair even though i continued to deny it for weeks....he knew. My H wanted to try to reconcile and i was hesitant for so many reasons - most of which were selfish and selfserving. i wasnt sure if he would ever feel the same about me after the affair and i was afraid to move forward. About a month ago i ended the affair (even tho OM continues to try to communicate with me) and asked my H if he would consider MC or a Reconciliation. He said that it was too late. i had hurt him too much and told too many lies. Now he is seeing another woman. The last few weeks have been so hard. all i can do is cry. I cant eat or think. i cant work. i cant sleep. all i do is wander around out home and cry. I cant pay our house note alone any more (he hasnt helped with the note since he left 6 mos ago) and he wants to sell the house and is talking divorce. Is it too late really? I want my husband back. I do not want a divorce. Please help....I need advice.
