I'd reached a point on August 18 when I said that I'd lost my life. Sage heard me say this and he agreed w me. After the bomb when Sage said I seemed different I told him I was. I didn't like the me from before. The post bomb me wasn't intimidated by Sage because he seemed more approachable (wierd but true).
I not only like me now. I love me. I look forward to figuring out the things I really like to do because I suppressed myself in order to "get along" all my life.
I have figured out how to privately go inside and soothe little lily when she is hurting. I am going to 'grow her up' as well. I don't plan on taking that sweet little child into Sage and my future. I'm going to let her go just as I am letting our daughter go and our son one day too..
It's ok, too, if Sage doen't make it back to feeling 'love' for me. It's all good. To use a 'Titanic' cliche: "I will go on".
Just be so very patient w your H. He has to deal w his consequences. Don't be his mom. Be his Love.
