Matilda..I just looked back over the last few days posts.May I make some comments please..out sich's are similar.
My H had similar problems..low libido, guilt,depression.We were supposed to be reconciling and he told me OW was not on the scene.We were going to a MC that my H didn't like.
What did I learn from that?..it was the wrong MC.
As far as the low libido..I pressured, I gave him a hard time. What did I learn from that? I should have let him alone.
Then just like you I got the talk the ILY but not like before routine.8 months later we are still in the same house no sex etc.BUT I do believe my H has learned that I am willing to give him space.
My H like yours calls all the time. They are so dependant on us.I doubt that he really wants to leave..I bet he still loves you..he just doesn't know what to do w these feelings.
The guilt thing..I'd be willing to bet that that's what he THINKS he's feeling but that he is simply misinterpreting these feelings for depression.
As a person who has suffered a major depression and as someone who has been surrounded by people w depression. The worst thing we can do is to try to make them feel better.
You are smart to realise there is nothing you can do to make him feel better.
I love the chapter in DR about dealing w a spouse w depression. I would recommend a reread.
My advice to you is give him LOTS of space and lovingly watch and see what happens.
Be there for him...but frankly I don't see anything wrong in not answering the phone every once in a while.
The jealousy thing?I also see nothing wrong in letting him wonder just a bit..I personally feel that Hs like yours and mine need to get a little taste of what it would be like to lose us.I know I hate game playing too.I don't think you have to do that though.Just do things for yourself..let him do the things he wants to do.
Sleeping pills..I dunno..I hate to see you use them as a way of blocking the pain of rejection.I TRULY understand why you find them helpful though.
I find that calcium and magnesium are good natural sleep aids...also if you read sitting up in bed w a pretty nightie on well maybe....
On a more practical note. Is there anything you can do for yourself to make yourself feel really special. I recently went to a Spa and got thoroughly pampered..it was a boost.
