So how do I get that across to my H? I've tried to explain this all to him. Discussed him thinking good thoughts about himself will promote good feelings about himself. He says it doesn't work for him. When he tells himself he is a good person, good husband, good father, etc., he just simply doesn't believe it!
And it doesn't seem to matter to him that I've told him that I think he's basically a good person who just got lost for a while. I told him that if that "bad guy" were really who he was, he wouldn't be feeling so wretched about himself. That is not the real him. The real him is the man who wishes he had never done what he's done; the man who wants desparately to make things better; the man who is in pain because he hurt me and himself so much; the man who I know will never do anything like that again.
The other night he mentioned that I've said things to him that make him feel really good about himself, but then he starts wondering if I just say those things because I think he needs to hear them in order to stay faithful to me!! WTF!! Geez, talk about over-analyzing. He even admitted he's probably thinking too much about it. But basically what he was saying was he doesn't believe the good things I say about him because, afterall, there is nothing good about him, right?
What do you think, Andy, is he depressed? I think so. I mentioned it to him the other night. How can he not be? I also suggested he discuss this with the doctor at his appt. Told him I wasn't pressuring him to do so; didn't want him to think he could just take a pill and everything would be all right, but that I was concerned about him and hated to see him so miserable all the time. He thanked me for my concern. I don't remember if he said he would discuss it with the doctor or not. I will bring it up again, along with the testosterone test, just before his appt.
