I havent been around for a while but had time to drop and do some catching up. Im so glad to hear you are staying calm through all this. I, like you, are learning to do the same. It does ease the tension around the household tremendously.
IMHO I believe your H still loves you deeply, he even did while the A was going on. My W told me she never stopped loving me back then, just that the love got kinda lost along the way. I think the same thing applies to your husband also. The love is there it has just been lost for the time being. I know it probably doesnt make you feel any better by hearing this for it didnt me, just offering another way to look at it.
Also Lily said something to me that I re-read often. She said my W had worked through her problems and that part of her journey was over. The rough times Im going through now are my journey, not mine and hers. The future is a journey for both of us, a future without the past brought along with it. My W is there now, at the end of her journey waiting for me to reach her and begin a new one together. To me it seems as if you are nearing the end of your personal journey and waiting on your H to do the same and reach you.
Maybe you could somehow relate this to him, that you ARE there, waiting for him to catch up.
Mattie I pray with all my heart that I and your H both catch up with our beloved spouses, and start that new journey together.
