Matilda...Sure hate to hear that you are having doubts about your M. But I do understand why you are having them. You have worked really hard to forgive and make things work. You are so right when you say it takes TWO!! There are times when I feel that I am doing most of the work on our M. I know my H did make some changes but there are times when I feel that he isn't doing enough. I guess this is a normal feeling. I try so hard to show him that I am here for him and would do anything for him. He sometimes tells me he appreciates everything but I don't hear it as often as I'd like. THis caused problems before. I got to the point where I didn't feel appreciated. I don't want to ever feel that way again. But the difference is this time I know that I can talk to him about what is bothering me. Before we just didn't talk. He is going through a lot of stuff at work right now and has had to go back working nights for awhile so I do understand that he is wore out and sometimes he just doesn't think to say the words. He does try to show me though which helps. I wish I knew what to tell you. Don't know what I can say to help. You have tried so very hard to make things work. It is your H that has the problem and it looks like there is nothing you can say or do to convince him to forgive himself. BUt he is the one that has to reach that point. If you make him go or leave him,then he will say that he knew that was going to happen all along! It's almost like he's thinking that if you leave him,it's what he deserves. Sounds like maybe he feels he hasn't been "punished" for what he did. Not sure if I am making any sense here. You have told him over and over and you have shown him over and over that you forgive him and you love him...NOW IT IS UP TO HIM!! The 1 year mark is tough I know (right now I am coming up on the 1 year mark of when he stopped responding to her emails after ending the PA a year ago this past March! He sent her a birthday card on July 2 and I found out on July 4th..I can't believe that I am worrying that he might send her another card! It's crazy I know but I think you understand!). But right now I am concerned about you!! I doubt I've been much help but remember that I am behind you all the way! I will give you all the support,caring and understanding I can!! You have to decide what is best for you. Whatever you decide,I know you will be strong and you will triumph!! You are a treiffic lady and I am praying that your H doesn't want to lose you and he will "get his act together" so that won't happen!!
Have a
drink for me...I'm on meds for about another 5 days so I can't have one [Wink] !!
YOUR FRIEND, PFROGLADY