I just wanted you to know that I have been reading along with your sitch, catching up as time permits! I think you are doing, really really well. It sounds like the C is going well for you. I know sometimes it is hard, and after an hour, sometimes it is draining. That means you are doing the work. I am proud of you. Your posts indicate to me that you are having insights, and that growing and learning are happening - all good.
I do think it will be important for you to talk to your H when you are ready. I am really proud of how you have managed yourself, not bursting in anger AT H. When you get to the point that you are ready to talk to him about your concerns in a calm, direct manner, you will also get the best possible results. I have learned that when I react to something, it is because of something in my past. And if H reacts to you, it will be because you are a trigger to something out of his past - it is not about you. This allows me a fair amount of compassion, and nowadays a good monitor for my own reactivity so H doesn't have to see it when I am riled. It just means I have work to do, a deeper inquiry to explore. No more blaming H, or taking it personally when H blames me.
So, good work that you are doing. I am glad that you are invested in your C and seeing the value. That is huge and important, and a long way from where you were when you started posting. I am reading along, and rooting for you.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
