I've made a decision...

[NNP1965]

I just got home from my counseling session. Why do I always feel like a used dishrag afterward?

My counselor told me to look up ACOA (Adult Children of Alcholics). I didn't even know there was such a thing and of course the closest meeting is 50 miles away. But I think this is something I would like to look in to.

We talked a lot today about the fact that it may be possible that my H knows I know about some of the things he has done and since I have not objected he may think I am in some way giving him permission to continue.

Only, how am I supposed to address that, since I only know of these things thru snooping? Which made me think of Jokerman and him being so sure that his W did not know about OWSB only to find out that she did know.

I have a lot of things running through my head and I need to figure out how to type them out in some way that will make some sort of sense.

I know one thing for sure. I am no longer afraid of going forward with this. I need to face my issues and be able to open up to my H even if it is about things he is doing that are unhealthy.

Eventually I will get to the place I can do that and it may make a change for the better or it may not. But I know at some point I have to be able to take that chance.