I'm sorry you're having a rough week. My father too, was an abusive alcoholic. And yeah, when sober, the nicest guy in the world. Part of how I am today is because of my fathers alcoholism. I can't express myself properly to the people I care about the most because my father took precedence over everything. Was daddy coming home drunk tonight? If he was, was Mom going to put us in the car and take us somewhere else to sleep? Ok, Daddy came home sober. Phew. We can sleep in our own beds tonight. Because our lives revolved around the alcoholism, no one had the time to hear us kids. No one listened if we had a problem; we had no one to talk to about things. We were left to ourselves, to figure things out and deal with them ourselves. Consequently, my communication skills suck!
I don't know why I put this in here, but, I guess because I can sympathize with you.
As for your C, she doesn't really sound too Solution Based. Ok, so you fear the consequences of telling the truth. Who doesn't? But, you know that. And you need to find out how to overcome that fear.
And, WTH? Start out by confronting your H about this whopper of an issue? I don't have a psych degree or anything, but, isn't it a better idea to perhaps start with something "small" - just to, at the very least, build up the self-confidence in yourself so that you can move on to bigger issues? If you were to confront H about this right now, and say it went badly - wouldn't that completely put the fear in you forever????? Or am I way off base here?
Starting out with little things; being assertive; building your self-confidence and building a more positive self-image of yourself. Who knows, as you become more sure of yourself, become less fearful of what's going to happen when someone doesn't agree with you or things don't go as well as you'd like - maybe it will incite change in your H as well.
