One thing I am confused about and maybe you guys can help me...
The counselor said that a true solution base counselor would tell me I need to go home and confront H and if I did not I need to bring her a letter to mail to him (basically forcing confrontation). she knows I am not ready for that, I know I am not ready for that. and I doubt that you guys think that a SBC would say that.. or do you?
I don't know if this is too much info, but I want to post this here to have a record.
My Dad was an alcoholic and could be (and was) abusive. He was also "the nicest man in the world" as many, many people have said to me over the years.
The counselor said yesterday that one reason I can not bring myself to face the truth now is that as child I was so fearful of telling the truth. ...and while I loved my Father but also hated him intensley that is all kind of entertwined in how I feel about my husband right now. I love him, but I hate the things he is doing.
she used an analogy about weight... Logically we all know how to lose weight, but we (me especially) may not be able to follow through with that for what ever reason.
Logically I know what my H is doing is wrong and deceitful and I hate it, but I am too fearful of the consequences to address it. Obviously I do not choose to address it for DB purposes, but even if I chose to, I know (and the counselor agrees) that I would not be able to out of fear. she used the word paralized and that is honestly how I feel much of the time.
Am I making any sense to whoever is reading this?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
