Quote: How much of the past should play in to counseling?
It's funny, I think people either think of therapists as quacks or psyche-gods and there is not much wiggle room in there. It clouds our perspective when it comes to figuring out if we want to confront them on things we think are wrong with their approach.
I think your plan of asking her for what you want, or if she is planning to do what you want is a GREAT one. YOU are paying her, and while she DOES supposedly have SOME idea of what she's doing, YOU ultimately make the decision to keep going.
As far as how important the past is in therapy, it GREATLY depends on the therapist and their school of thought. A great many therapists are of the Freudian ilk and will relate EVERYTHING back to your childhood as they believe that all our adult issues stem from unresolved childhood issues and that many of our relationships are shaped by our relationship with our parents. Also, many therapists see the therapy process as LONG and ongoing, not something suited to immediate gratification. That's why SBT is kinda radical because it stresses results and a process that can be quantified and NOT lasting forever.
My therapist is Imago trained, which puts a LOT of focus on the past but for some reason, my C is able to set aside that notion for me. I told her early on that I really didn't want to focus so much on the past and she agreed not to. I don't know if that's really rare, but it seemed to work for me. Also, since she has been really good about not pushing the "Freudian" stuff, I actually have "let" her introduce some of it into what we do and you know what, I learned a LOT from that. Actually, it was a regression thing she did (sorta like hypnosis, which like the rest of the "therapy" thing, I never believed in much) that REALLY thought me a LOT about my childhood and some of the social issues I have now. It was a lot more about realizing that these issues I have now have been around for a long time that anything else, and as such, I should not be worried that I cannot change them overnight.
Anyway, enough about me. What I am saying is that to ME, your therapists willingness, and ABILITY to slightly alter her approach in your sitch is a sign that you can trust her to keep your current desires in mind. Of course, realize that this woman is in the business of selling hours of time and while I don't think that makes her inherently conflicted of interest, I do think it should make you wary enough to just ask for what you want and either get it, or get a good enough reason why she can't or won't give it to you.
