I've made a decision...

[PositivelyListening]

Hi NNP (& Grasshopper, WCW, & all),

I am one of those folks who has done a fair amount of therapy, personal growth seminars, coaching, and have had 3 DB coaching sessions. I work in education/human development/mental health arena also, so I am surrounded by professionals in these arenas. As may be apparent, I have a bias that looking at yourself and choosing to grow is helpful. "Scary", perhaps although like any good thing, I love that feeling now as I know I am growing and I know the feeling means I am on my way to something new and likely improved for me, as I have done it enough now to enjoy walking into the "not knowing" and the "what is possible" with a certqain sense of "oh, goody!". I don't always feel that way right away. My current marriage crisis feeling like a great example of "this sucks worse than anything ever" when it first hit. Believe it or not (and this was not the first time this has come up in the past 6 months) I was thinking today about how grateful I am for my H's MLC and A because of the growth it is causing for me. H said something similar at one pont too, that it was "forcing us out of our comfort zone" and although I think I wanted to pop him one at the time, this is correct and a good attitude about the possibilities that open up when the rotten stink festering under the surface hits the light of day. Some people might think "all that personal growth work and she's not fixed already?" Well, I believe I am never done growing 'til the day I die, so best make good use of my time! Some C's are a waste of time IMHO, and I have found EAP C's to be some of the worst possible. But that is just my experience, it does not mean that yours NNP is a bad one. But I have found that I get some value out of everyone (including free things like going to church) but sometimes some professionals charge more because they can because they really are better. Of course, some just have good advertising and you are paying for that.

I have had 3 sessions with DB coach Chuck, and I do not find it really profound. But I do find it very encouraging, and very focused on what I wanted to be focused on - using Michele's techniques to work to save my marriage. I paid for a package of 3, did not plan to use any more than that, then ended up signing up for 3 more sessions which I have not used yet. Expensive - yes - but not any more than personal coaching costs anywhere else. The going rate for professional coaches is $150 - $200/hr, so they are right in the ball park. Phone coaching is a really common practice, and I prefer it because there are few disctractions and I find it more effective to an action-oriented approach. However, I am an auditory learner too, so learning by listening and talking (and listening to myself talk) is my best bet.

OK, enough! I just wanted to say mostly, that your life, your future, your goals are up to you. How you get there is ultimately decided by you as to what is best. But a lot of people are so afraid of the initial "scary" feeling of realizing that they will not be the same person if they continue, that they run from that. Make sure you have found out what works for you and what doesn't, from a plusses/minusses perspective, not just an emotional reaction one. Personally, I believe that money should not be the reason for doing something or not. I believe money can be an excuse to withhold pleeasure or growth from yourself indefinitely. We make choices all the time about how we spend $$. It is much more powerful to get you are choosing not to spend money on something, than to pretend you can not afford it. Some things are worth the money, and you re-prioritize. For example, I am spending a lot less on groceries right now, and have found that is working better for me now that I am exercising more and spending the $$ on getting a massage once a week instead. I think we get value in life from what we make a priority. So if your M is your priority, or better yet, your own health and well being, put money, energy and time into that, and see what happens.

One more thing you said NNP. I was worried when you mentioned that you could not be sure that you could arrange an hour to yourself for a coaching call, private and uninterrupted. Wow. I suggest that you go buy a phone card and find a cool comfortable phone booth in a classy hotel for your hour call. I dunno. There are lots of choices here, if you WANT something. I think your current parameters/POV are limiting your options of what is possible, and I would encourage you to be bold and step out of what you have usually done to take care of yourself. I think you can have whatever you really want, if you are really committed.