quote:Originally posted by matilda: So, what does it take? Does he have to be worried that I've run out of patience with him? Does he have to think I'm angry with him (he hates it when I get mad at him)?
Maybe that’s what it takes, Matilda. Sure seems like it, doesn’t it?
quote:Originally posted by matilda: Why can't he just be like that all the time (most of the time is fine)? When he acts like he did last night I can forget everything else. That is the man I fell in love with in the first place. Do I need to be stand-offish all the time in order to get what I need from him? I hope not because I also like pursuing him sometimes. I want to be able to grab him and kiss him whenever I want.[QB]
Have you told him this?
quote:Originally posted by matilda: [QB]I really don't think I'm asking too much of him. Just a little extra effort on his part to make things easier for me to put the past aside.
I don’t think it’s asking too much, either. Does he?
Maybe you have asked him, Mattie. If you haven’t, then I think that perhaps you should. If you have, maybe it didn’t sink in. I think you should tell him again.
And… If necessary… again, and again, and again…
Most people on the boards are afraid of nagging. They don’t want to appear controlling. But, in your case, I think telling him this would be a sign that you care.
You back off, and he pursues out of fear. I think that if you tell him your needs and desires, he just might react out of love instead of fear of losing you.
Recently, my W ordered me to go to the doctor and get a few things checked out. They were things that I already discussed with my doctor, and they’re insignificant. I told her so, but she wants them re-checked. She said that she doesn’t want to control me, but for this she’s putting her foot down.
Did I feel nagged? No. I felt like she cared about me.
