I've made a decision...

[NNP1965]

The counselor said that living with deceit is not good and it is not healthy for me to ignore it, but more importantly she was curious why I am able to ignore it at all costs.

Basically what came from that is that my whole life I have been keeping family secrets... from my father's alcholism (and other abuses) to what my H is doing.

I see now that my Mom ignored much of what was going on in her marriage and in ours lives.

I told her that I want to face the truth, but that I want to keep my marriage and she said that might be a fantasy that cannot happen.

Is any of this making sense at all? As painful as it is for me to remember things, I want to be honest here so I will try to answer any questions ask of me.