Well last night was better.

H came home in a very affectionate mood last night. Maybe he was trying to side step any face-to-face conversation about his slip on Friday, or maybe he was sensing I'm starting to withdraw emotionally, I don't know. All I know is it was nice and it helped. Does anybody have a hammer out there that I can use to drive that fact into my H's skull? [Eek!]

Anyway, he just hung around me most of the evening trying to engage me in conversation and being very helpful and considerate. I was a little stand-offish. That didn't seem to detour him. After dinner he took youngest S out driving (he takes his driver's test next week), then stopped to buy something my brother needs for his boat (brother and family are staying at Disneyland until Weds). When they returned, I was upstairs watching a show I taped. H came up and just kind of hung around, picking up a few things, then finally sat on bed and asked a few questions about the show. Then he went down and worked with youngest S on geometry for his final exam today. Everytime I walked by them, he acknowledged me, saying things like, "I'm almost done. I'll be right up." He was working with S, and that made me happy. But 45 minutes after bedtime when he still wasn't upstairs I started getting upset. Okay, I guess he's just trying to avoid me. I managed to get myself angry.

Well, H then came scurring up saying he was sorry, but he was worried about S's test today. S really needed help. I wasn't saying much -- still a little stand-offish. H didn't let that stop him last night. The evening ended very well [Big Grin] , and, yes, I guess my PMA is up a little today.

So, what does it take? Does he have to be worried that I've run out of patience with him? Does he have to think I'm angry with him (he hates it when I get mad at him)? Why can't he just be like that all the time (most of the time is fine)? When he acts like he did last night I can forget everything else. That is the man I fell in love with in the first place. Do I need to be stand-offish all the time in order to get what I need from him? I hope not because I also like pursuing him sometimes. I want to be able to grab him and kiss him whenever I want.

I really don't think I'm asking too much of him. Just a little extra effort on his part to make things easier for me to put the past aside.

Thanks for the hugs and encouragement.

Matilda