I'm also going to suggest that you pick up a couple of books Mars and Venus and Mars and Venus in a relationship. Both of these books give great insight into what goes into the thoughts of Ms and Vs. It almost reads to me that your H is very stressed out... being deployed, transferred... there doesn't seem to be much stability when serving for your country. It's very common from what I have read and observed through the years. His escape it appears is the computer. Whether it be a gaming room, sexual site... it's as if he is escaping all the stresses. Perhaps he is also depressed.
There is a great chapter in the M/V book on depression/stress and how Ms handle it. One of the greatest suggestions is that the spouse/partner gets out and GAL... Quite often a depressed person finds themselves in a vicious circle that once an addiction is introduced (sexual, drug, alcohol) it is quite difficult to stop it... because the addiction brings their only pleasure. They don't want to intentionally hurt the ones they love, so they attempt to push them away by any means they have.
I think finding a Solution Based Counselor is your best bet. I really stress the Solution Based... why, because solution based helps you with the here and now to work on the issues at hand and not traditional therapy which tends to focus on issues of the past being brought into the present. That is fine and there is nothing wrong with that method by any means. But the point at hand is that you have problems now that need to be addressed. I also suggest if you cannot find a Solution Based Counselor locally, that you simply pick up the phone and call one of the counselors here at DB. I worked with Chuck. He was great...
Wish you well. I tend to lurk and post every now and then but I'll check back from time to time. Keep your head up, find yourself again through communicating with old friends, hobbies that you may have put on the backside... you have to take care of you first and foremost. If you need to vent, post it here you will never be judged... we've all been there.
