Hi NNP, I do think C is a good idea, I hope you have found someone by now and are getting some counseling. I am doing tons of things for support, and it has really helped me. What you have been through is difficult, and it has lasted a long time. I think the C will help you to sort out who you are and what you want.
Too much time and energy has been spent by you, trying to figure out what your H is up to. It's time to figure out what you are up to - your behaviors, your thoughts and actions that have contributed to your situation. That is where your power is, and the possibility for a brighter future. It is what you have control over.
You said
Quote: I love my H and I want to make this marriage work, but what I don't want is to be lied to and cheated on. What makes him think he can do that and get away with it?
and I really understand how this feels. But it won't help you, if you are truly interested in saving your marriage. Find out more about who you are being in the relationship, and spend as little time as possible trying to fugure your H out right now. This might seem strange, but I say this with absolute certainty: Your H's affairs, obsessions, addictions, etc. are not about you. And you can't control his behavior. Find out what you are about, and meanwhile lovingly detach from your H without judgement. That will open up windows to a new world.
Meanwhile, try not to react with frustration and impatience, to force something to move in your M until you are clear with yourself. Give yourself some time, allow yourself that. Just pull back a little so that your focus is on you reather than him, and see what happens.
These boards can be really helpful. Also, have you purchased and read Divorce Remedy yet?
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
