Landing in this forum after 1.5 years

[Fighting4Wife]

Well a month of silence is about enough I think.

Not sure who is left to read or respind but I hope a few of my friends are still here (maybe not I hope they have been able to move on)

Where to start...well I reached my limitations of my patience and have asked for everything to be done by the ned of this year. I do not want another year to start with the same baggage. This was met with very little resistance and evrything has gone so smnoothly. She has agreed to all of my terms and we have been very civil about the whole thing. The ironic portion of this is this is how we used to be. We could talk and reason. I often find myself slipping back and feeling a great deal of remorse and saddness, which tells me I am not fully healed and still have a tremendous amount of feelings for my wife. Thorugh all of the bitterness and verbal venom she has spewed over the last 6 months, I still look on her with soft eyes and warm feelings in my heart and it tears me apart to see the finality of 15 years together come to such a end. I aksed a few weeks ago if she is still set on D as the final sloution, she responded "do you really think we can work this out, after all that has gone on?" I simply said yes, but that will be my eventual downfall, I forgive an trust to quickly.

So all is amicable and I may even be able to purchase a house that is suitable for my children. My house just sold 2 weeks ago and I have 30 days to find a new one. Tight but it was a hurdle that needed cleared and I have faith in God he will not put me on the streets and if he does than it is for a purpose I am yet to understand and not question.

I have found a renewed sense of myself and even my STBX has commented how I am strong and a different man. In reality I am what I once was and need to remember not to lose that man again.

Well that is the update. Still getting a D and still helplessly in love with my wife. But I will survive and prosper.

F4W