Your sitch reminds me of the 3rd MC my W and I visited. This was a "Christian" MC, and so I thought that his religious background would at least give my "doomed" M (which, at the time, it was) a fighting chance. Boy, was I wrong! During our 2nd session, I got "side swapped". The MC proclaimed our M DOA. I remember how pathetic I became during, and - especially - after that session.
To make my long story short, my W eventually filed for D. I kinda got my act together, applied the LRT and other principles, and was able to Bust my D. However, eventually, my M got into trouble again. I realize now that the LRT and other "principles", at least in my experience, cannot be maintained indefinitely. But then I came across this other source of info, which was recommended by another DB member (I can't recall his name). Anyhow, that website, including their e-book and free newsletters, have put my M in the right direction - for the 1st time in years.
I'll share some a couple of their writings:
We get in a rut, we spend years seeking a woman's approval, or looking to her to feed our self-esteem, when we should be looking to ourselves. She probably has none of her own, or none to spare. We mistakenly think that things get stale and boring because that's the way they are supposed to be, and that's the price we pay for sex, and then the sex stops, too, but we look at the calendar and think that we're better off putting up with it than to give up half or more of everything we've earned and a big chunk of our future earnings to get out of it and have a life.
Unless we are with some kind of parasite or predator, or someone with whom we are grossly mismatched and never should have married, life doesn't have to be like that at all. The truth is that she probably got bored at the same time we did, or even before, if she's like most women, and would love for things to be fun and exciting again. Women don't like crises that cause major changes in their life (like divorce!) any more than we do. What does it take?
It doesn't take much at all! It takes knowing whether you have the foundation for a good relationship. It takes knowing how you and your wife differ as man and woman, and using those differences to enhance your relationship instead of allowing them to remain points of contention, competition, and frustration.
It takes learning three simple rules that govern all communication with a woman, and using them to hear things she's been telling you for years that you never knew you were being told. It takes shedding the "nice guy" programming that you're drowning in, and getting back to being the "real guy" that your Y-chromosome has set you up to be, strong, competent, fun, and feeling good about yourself, and not some unattractive, unappealing wuss.
Chicks dig real men, alpha males, who know what they want, and walk through the world earning it, knowing that they deserve it, and holding their head high as they do so, eyes fixed on either their next achievement or their partner's sexy self. Good things come their way because they're worthy of good things, not because they can coerce people (including making them feel guilty) into providing them.
