F4W - it is good to hear from you again, even if I am saddened that you are still under such tremendous pressure. However - your W IS going to C (even if she is not entirely sure of how to get the best from it) and you have some good clues here from her emotional reaction to any level of 'pressure.'
IMHO, she is NOT ready to discuss her feelings, your M in too much depth; you are far more emotionally ready for that than she is. So perhaps you could go back to her pace and give her time to feel comfortable with you again.
Maybe even talking about the K's is too inflamatory - after all they are part of the 'R' and it might be impossible to talk about them without your W feeling guilt - which will just make her angry again.
If you have 10 minutes together on Friday, could you just make it fun? Or relaxed? Maybe start by saying '(Wife) I appreciate you letting me know your true feelings in the C session and I promise I have taken your comments on board. Instead of beating ourselves up more, why don't we just have a break and enjoy this next 10 minutes as friends. Let's agree not to talk about the K's or our R - let's just have a coffee and chat.'
Let her go away from that 10 minutes feeling uplifted in some way. Compliment her (not too much - just 'you look really well' or 'that's a great outfit BTW'), talk about politics, sports, her job, the other people in the cafe - ANYTHING but the 2 of you.
If your W can go away from your coffee feeling that she has had a nice, relaxing 10 minutes with a good friend - chances are she will want to do it again.
Slowly does it F4W - I am rooting (as always) for you!
