I claim the full victory that my Lord Jesus Christ won on the Cross for me. Having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross" (Col. 2:15) His victory for me is my victory.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I renounce all the workings of Satan in my life in all its forms, whether brought into my life by my actions or by others. I break all attachments, ground, curses, spells, and rights Satan may have in my life whether such ground was gained through my actions or through others. Strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I ask you Lord to command Satan and all his minions, whomever they may be, to get out of my life and stay out. With that authority I now take back the ground in my life gained by Satan through my sins. I reclaim this ground and my life for Christ. I now dedicate myself to the Lord Jesus Christ; I belong to Him alone. Amen.
I am sorry I have been absent for so long. I have been trying to regroup, trying to make sense and direction of my life during this time. There has been many nights of unending crying, raging, screaming and reflection.
I am healing, they are the same wounds from before only a bit deeper. I have made mistakes in this process and looked to various things and people to try and ease my pain. None of them will. Only I have the power to heal with the help of my God. This is his plan. God is not vengeful nor is he cruel. So I must place faith that something better lies ahead.
I enjoy my kids. They are now the primary issue before us. I seek as close to 50/50 as I can and she seeks to limit to 4 days in 14. This I will not agree to though I did in principle a week ago. After 3 hours of talkiung and bearing my soul, weeping uncontrollably in front of her, but not begging for us to be together, I wanted to ease her pain. But as I went ot sign the papers in my lawyers office, I relized that i will not be seeing my sons and being a father to them in 4 days. I recanted and re-proposed a 51/49 custody. I will not waiver. People think I am risking it all, that the courts may award less. Well that is not a gamble. I f what my STBXW says is true, and she would never keep my kids from me, than she should have no problem putting it in the court documents.
I am at home this weekednd and she is staying elsewhere and we will continue to switch until the house sells. It is lonely and sad at times even with my children.
I have new faith, THANK YOU STANDING BEAR! That prayer was timely and needed.
I will try and be here more frequently, I feel like being with old friends. Ones that care.
God Bless all.
F4W
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
Stick to your guns and DO NOT BUDGE on the child issue. Period. Don't do it. If you are going to fight for joint custody, now is definitely the time to do it. Spare no expense and no tears over the issue. If you have to live next door to your wife in order for it to work after the D, so be it.
Once you sign the papers, give up your rights to your kids, and the D is done... there is virtually no going back.
Hang tough. No need to be mean, or angry or vengeful, just keep true in your heart that you WILL remain in your children's lives...
That is what I am going to do. Without going into much detail right now, I still think she checks here to see a stance or opinion, her first propsal I did not think all the way through and now that I have I informed her my tenetative settlement was no recinded. I have since countered with a proposal that places us near 50/50 (52 % for her and 48% for me) in regards to the kids. This of course may have an impact on the CS bit to me that issue is not as important as being a father "in my" kids lives not just a weekend dad.
She was PO'd and went on a rampage. But for me this is business, not emotional. If I did not seperate the emotional part of me, I would be dead in the water. As a business deal, I need to feel comfortable with the settlement.
It is hard, to see her cry and hear the things she says, bit these are MY kids also, and they need a dad also. This is taking it's toll on her health. She has issues now that may require surgery, possible gall bladder issues. But I believe it is most likely ulcer or similar due to the stress. It is amazing how the human body will react to distress and start to tell the concious mind, "HEY! Something is wrong"
Thanks again Corri, as I have stated before I do respect you opinion.
F4W
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
